Marriage and the man...

Let's talk marriage and the man...

 My husband and I have been together for fifteen years, married for three and we have an amazingly beautiful eight year old daughter. I guess you could say we did things a little bit backwards and not so traditional. We were young and in love, what can I say?! In many ways we grew up together from teenagers into young adults and then parents. Honestly I wouldn't change it because it made us who we are. #WeThree.

 I want to say that over the course of the past fifteen years we have had our fair share of tests and challenges just like any other couple would. We have suffered great loss together. We have buried friends and family together. We have gone through tough financial burdens together. We moved all over the country together. We have shared the sorrow of losing a child together. You see things have not always been sunshine and roses. My point is the key word being TOGETHER. 

 I am and always have been a beautiful complicated mess. In my defense I was very honest about this and believe me he was well aware of it from the beginning. Not that I was unhinged or irrational but I was unapologetically WILD. I never backed down and worked hard for everything I had. I was a tough independent young woman that didn't take crap from anyone. I still don't but it wasn't always that way. However that's a different story for a different day.

 Now on a more serious note. Full transparency here, I was in many ways an emotionally damaged person. I had endured alot of abuse, heartache and loss by this point in my short time on the earth. I can say I spent alot of time allowing my emotions and anger to get the best of me. By this point in my life I had little to no patience for fatuity and like my own mother I did not suffer fools gladly. 

 Enter feelings... which I can admit, I was not the best at processing at the time. Again anger was my most comfortable emotion and had never failed me in keeping my heart safe thus far. Thankfully he had eminence patience. I do think he enjoyed the challenge though. With that being said he accepted I was a flawed human being with baggage. He BRAVED the instability without judgment.

 He instilled in me something I had lost long ago, HOPE. He gave me normalcy again. He supported my sobriety which is real love let me tell you. He created beautiful memories with the sole intent to drown out the terrible ones. He challenged me to define myself by my successes and not my failures. He prepared me to be great. And even though I fall short at times he reminds me that greatness is only fruitful gratefulness. 

 One thing we have always had in common is our love of sports. We knew it was a sign to be during our first March Madness together being that we are both huge Duke fans. Side Note: I am still the biggest JJ Redick fan EVER. Which by the way to this day he is still the all-time leading scorer for Duke. Anyways I digress. whether SEC Football, college basketball or just playing 18 holes of golf, sports is something that we love doing together.

 See there's that word again, together. For us I think sports strengthen our marriage and keep our heads in this so called game of life. Growing up as a jock I can tell you sports take root in your life. You learn very quickly it takes a team to win and you're only as good as your weakest player. This strategy is huge for us. Focusing in this way really works for us. 

 Team #You&Me started by realizing that our marriage like in basketball has it's ups, it's downs, injuries, disappointments, but the highs and lows never take away from the bond you create with one another. It gives you the drive to show up and work hard for each other. To rely on one another. In turn you build mutual respect and trust. The true foundation of a soild marriage.

 Ultimately you have to be willing to go for the ball and box out your opponent. Always pushing forward and giving your best effort. For us show up and show out. That's how you secure and champion the win. By always out working your opponent and staying focused on the team dream.

 In the words of Candace Parker " Today I know that there is still work to be done, but along the way I am achieving my dreams." All in all isn't that the goal in life? I always try to remember three things... Love, Passion and Growth. Love the game. Play with passion. Learn from the growth. Lastly I am so blessed to have my BRAVE husband loving every bit of my WILD heart!

Thankfully,

RMB